Monday, October 16, 2006

How To Hire A Maid

We hire maids all the time. That's what you do when you run a maid service. That's what you'll end up doing if you decide to hire an individual maid. We don't won't you wandering aimlessly out there, so here's how we hire a maid.

1. You will not be hired if you have been convicted of a felony of any kind. In addition, you will not be hired if you have a misdemeanor charge of theft or fraud.

2. You will not be hired if you don't smile. You've got to smile while you're being interviewed.

3. You will get hired if you tell us a story about how you made a customer happy in a previous job.

4. You must provide at least two professional references. They only need to say two things. You consistently show up for work and you're trustworthy.

5. You will not be hired if you badmouth your previous employer.

That's it. We don't conduct long interviews. We don't ask you to demonstrate how to mop a floor. We don't even ask you to tell us where you'll see yourself in ten years.

We can teach you to mop a floor. In fact, we can teach you a lot of things. But we can't teach you morality. We can't teach you ethics. And we can't teach you to smile.

Long story short. We'll hire you if you're a good person. What's a good person?

See the previous five questions.


  1. Anonymous5:36 PM

    How do you conduct your criminal background checks?

  2. We contract with a company to conduct a nationwide criminal background search. We use