Friday, January 18, 2008

Six Steps To The Perfect Cleaning Business

1. Make sure that each transaction is cash only. This means that you don't have to pay Uncle Sam anything! This means that you get to report no income on your income taxes. Which of course means that you'll receive a tax refund down the road.

2. Make sure that you use the customer's cleaning supplies. You know that the only reason that they hired you is because of your low prices. And you know that you need to keep your expenses as low as possible in order to continue offering such low prices. So use the customer's vacuum. Use their mop. Use their rags. Use their cleaning chemicals too. And if they're out of something, then just create your own cleaning products with what they have under the sink.

3. Do not purchase any type of insurance coverage. There's no way you'll be able to afford insurance and continue offering your low prices. So don't even waste your time calling. It doesn't matter anyway. If you break something, what are they going to say to you? This whole transaction is illegal in the first place.

4. Forget about workers' compensation. Why pay for that when all you need to do is sue your employer if you get injured in their home?

5. And when you really just get sick and tired of this business, just quit. Run away. Move out of town. It's not like you have a real investment in your business anyway. All you did was stick some cheap fliers on the grocery store's bulletin board.

6. And finally, if you get real desperate - then just steal from your customer. They don't know you. All they really know about you is that you clean their house every two weeks.


  1. Anonymous5:17 PM

    Why on earth would you write this? I am really hoping it was a joke?!

  2. No, it's not a joke at all. These six thoughts are real life examples of what your next illegal, individual housecleaner may be thinking. I wish it were a joke, but unfortunately someone just like this is out there and she's targeting your home right now. And yes, she's thinking of one if not all of these six thoughts.

  3. Anonymous11:45 AM

    LOL...Looks like you hit a raw nerve with Anon.

    Hope Anon is not out there cleaning homes on the cheap for $9 per hour!